Every journey starts with a single step, they say. For me, that step wasn’t just about moving beyond the grief that had enveloped my life; it was about stepping toward a version of myself I could be proud of—not just on the outside, but on the inside too. This week I want to talk about something I’ve always struggled with outside of my creative endeavors…
Growing up in the 90s, body image issues were as common as they were cruel, and like many, I carried these issues into adulthood. I always found myself on the heavier side, battling not just the scale but the deep-seated belief that my worth was somehow tied to my weight. Looking back through high school photos, without the tint of teenage insecurity, often reminds me how I let misguided opinions dictate my self-esteem. “You were gorgeous! Don’t let some acne-covered loser kill your self-worth,” I’d like to tell my younger self.
With a bit of clarity and a lot of introspection, I recently began to wonder: how will I view myself ten years from now? Will I regret not appreciating my own efforts and achievements? This sparked a change in me, not just a desire to look different, but to feel different. I embraced the gym, not as a chore but as a challenge to myself. Three times a week, rain or shine, I committed to this new ritual.
Before long, my gym visits turned into moments of refuge. While I’m there it’s just me, my thoughts, and whatever podcast, book, or album I’m listening to. No one at work needing anything, no one at home. Just time for me.
Six months and nearly 45 pounds later, the physical changes are undeniable. Clothes that once fit snugly now slide off my hips, and I’ve hit a dress size I haven’t seen since my college days. But when I face the mirror, the victory isn’t as clear. The reflection often seems unchanged. Body dysphoria whispers that nothing’s different, that the effort is wasted. Yet, I know that isn’t true.
I’ve started sharing more selfies—not out of vanity, but as visual bookmarks of my journey. These snapshots are reminders that change is tangible, even when the mirror tells a different story. They are my way of documenting the present so that one day, when I am further along on this journey, I can look back with kindness and pride at who I was in these moments of transformation.
This path I’m on is about more than shedding pounds; it’s about shedding years of self-doubt and insecurity. It’s about strength, resilience, and the slow but rewarding process of recognizing my own worth. The gym sessions are just one part of this journey. The real workout is training my mind to see the value in every step, to appreciate the person I am becoming, and to understand that health, happiness, and self-acceptance are worth far more than any number on a scale.
As I continue this journey, I’m learning to embrace each day as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection. Whether I’m lifting weights or lifting my spirits with positive affirmations, every effort counts. The road to self-acceptance is long and often winding, but it’s a path worth taking. For anyone struggling with their own reflections, remember: we are all works in progress, and every step forward, no matter how small, is a step toward loving the person in the mirror.